Give your child time to play and engage in other age-appropriate activities, such as watching television, reading, or exploring the outdoors. Encourage your child to continue attending school, even if he or she cannot attend full time. If your child must miss school for a long time, ask the teacher to have the class write letters, draw pictures, or make videos. Encourage your child to continue setting goals.
Short-term goals, such as learning to read or taking a special trip, help children gain a sense of achievement and give meaning to their lives. Continue setting limits on your child's behavior and practicing normal parenting. Without limits, your child will feel overwhelmed and out of control.
As your child's cancer progresses and death approaches, he or she will have additional needs. Consider taking these steps during that time:. Encourage your child's end-of-life wishes. These may include giving away special belongings, writing letters to friends, or going on a special adventure.
Learn about organizations that help children fulfill their wishes before the end of life. Give your child time to say goodbye to family, friends, teachers, and other special people. This can be done in person, with letters, or through a parent.
Talk about the physical symptoms and changes your child can expect as his or her cancer progresses. But avoid scaring him or her. Remind your child that his or her health care team will help make the symptoms better. It is not natural for parents to outlive their children. Nothing can erase the sadness and distress that parents experience caring for a child with advanced cancer.
But there are ways to make you feel less alone. The following suggestions may help you cope:. Talk with your spouse, family members, or friends about your feelings and fears. It is normal to experience emotions such as anger, guilt, and frustration. Seek support from a professional grief counselor, or join a support group with other parents of children with advanced cancer.
Take advantage of offers for help from family and friends to ease your physical and emotional exhaustion. Knowing what to expect will help you feel more prepared. Make sure advance directives and other such documents are in place before you need them.
Consider making funeral arrangements and other plans, such as deciding whether to have an autopsy, in advance. By planning ahead, you can spend more relaxed time with your child at the end of life and avoid making decisions in a crisis. Spend time with your child, and tell him or her how much you love him or her. Some parents, children, and other family members find it helpful to look through photo albums and share stories and memories of times spent together. How a Child Understands Cancer.
The importance of talking with your child Talking about death is a difficult step in caring for a child with advanced cancer. Below are a few things to consider when making this decision: How and when you talk with your child about the subject is a personal decision. How to talk with your child about death Talking about death and dying is always difficult. The following tips may also be helpful: Look for signs that your child is ready to talk, such as asking questions or bringing up the subject of death.
When discussing death, the following reassurances can be especially helpful for your child: Reassure your child that he or she will not be alone. Reassure your child that all pain and suffering goes away after death and never comes back. Discuss your family's religious or spiritual beliefs about death and what happens after death. How to meet your child's needs Although parents often feel powerless caring for a child with advanced cancer, you can take steps to help meet your child's psychosocial and physical needs.
Here are some tips to help your child experience the fullness of childhood for as long as possible: Give your child time to play and engage in other age-appropriate activities, such as watching television, reading, or exploring the outdoors.
National Center for Health Statistics. Section Navigation. Facebook Twitter LinkedIn Syndicate. Child Health. Minus Related Pages. Data are for the U. Health status. What mattered were the things that we all intrinsically know are important, but often forget in the hustle and bustle of daily living. The biggest takeaway for me is that the happiest, most meaningful moments were simple ones that did not require vast sums of money or effort to attain, but instead embraced the importance of human connection.
It was also surprising how frequently the so-called small things were the ones that turned out to have enormous significance at the end. Whether talking, laughing, playing, or just sharing silence, time spent with loved ones and pets was priceless.
Even though they were squarely facing death, these kids derived amusement from the same things that normal children do: silly antics; clumsy adults; slapstick humor. Laughing is so important for many reasons but key among them is that it reduces pain.
Finding levity in the face of overwhelming tragedy can be difficult, and some of the parents dug into unimaginably deep wells of courage to provide mirth when their hearts were breaking. One dad pulled funny faces through his tears. But it always paid off. And whether ill or healthy, children will always be delighted by farting. The written word and vivid fantasies told with basic toys enabled children to create alternate realities away from the often sterile hospital environment.
Stories also allowed the children to construct a meaningful narrative to explain the often incomprehensible diseases they were so bravely facing. Many believe that our ability to create and share stories is what defines us as human beings, and these kids demonstrated that.
Stories inspired, captivated and transported them.
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